i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
