masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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