Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
