This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize