You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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