Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize