the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
