You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize