The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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