i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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