roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
