Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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