I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
