dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
