fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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