is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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