We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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