I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
