We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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