at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
