Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my shit smells like andre
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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