Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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