Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize