I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize