Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
