So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
