i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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