Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
