Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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