Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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