WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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