all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
