People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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