his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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