Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
