Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
