I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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