Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
