my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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