Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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