I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
