i just made my gag reflex go away.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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