Kiss
Puke
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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