Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
