Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
