I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
