A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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