how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
