this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
