WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
