Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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