Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
