can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
