I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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